In this episode we take a much deeper dive into surrendering and letting go, in particular related to the HOW of building our soul dreams, allowing a higher force into our lives to help us solve everything from the small every day things to the much larger problems we face. Its worth listening to the Soul Shots episode on surrendering first, to lay a foundation, but they both build on from each other.
Letting go and diving deep into the art of surrender, what it means, what are the best ways to surrender, and how to take the BS out of it - that's what we go into in this episode.
Surrendering is a trick used in manifestation, but its often not easy to do and can lead to sketchy results at best. That said, there are some beautiful ways to surrender and in this episode I go through them with you and share some stories on how doing this has helped me in many aspects of my life, including building this podcast.
From now on, knowing what to let go of, when to let it go and why to let it go, and where to let it go will no longer be a mystery. You'll be given a clear plan of action with an easy go to practice you can use any time, any where and no one but you and the Divine will be any the wiser.
We recently changed the name of our podcast from 'Oh no please not another podcast' to 'Radiant Soul' - please bare with us if the old name sneaks in from time to time while we transition.
Hello and welcome to the Oh no, please, not another podcast podcast. Did you forget just how amazing beautiful and powerful you are my love? Did you forget how innately worthy deserving and lovable you are, and how infinitely abundant and rich you are as a soul living right now in this moment? It's okay.
We live in a world where we are constantly bombarded with messaging and marketing that tells us we are lacking in capable or not enough.
This is the podcast to disrupt that pattern, we're going to bulldoze some beliefs and behaviors that don't serve us. And we're going to remind you just how perfect whole and awesome you are right now, helping you live your best life have full agency and remembrance of why you are here.
I'm Shirley, a lifelong student and teacher of living a soul rich life, and I'll be your host as we journey deep and have fun. Learning how to live a soul rich life that is your best life.
But first I wish to acknowledge and please forgive any mispronunciation that this podcast is being recorded in my home in Montreal, also known as Dr. tiaki, which lies on unceded indigenous lands and waters, which a Kenyan Kochalka nation is recognized as a custodians. And I honor them this land of my ability to bring this podcast to you from here.
Thank you for joining me, and let's dive into today's episode.
Hi, and welcome to this episode of Oh, no, please, not another podcast. In this episode, I want to talk about releasing the how. And I don't know if many of you have been in self help circles and in the world of manifesting online, and they always talk about how to release the how, you know, like, your problem isn't the how and that gets solved for you. And I want to give you a little way of learning how to do that. Because it's not always easy to know how to release the how.
Our thinking, our logical brain instantly goes into how can I do this? How can I do this and, and we become obsessed with the details of how we become paralyzed quite often by the details of how everything becomes too big, everything becomes too overwhelming. And instead of taking action, we end up just in paralysis, or we end up just feeling incapable or bogged down in the mire of the how. And one of the things that I use is surrender.
Now what does that look like? For me, I imagine literally being able to pass something back to God, to Source, to the universe, whatever you want to call it. And the way I imagine this is, this isn't my burden to carry.
If I have a calling, if I have a desire to bring something into fruition, and that feels like a soul calling to me, then I know that I am resourced by divine intelligence, I know that I am resourced, from within, from the divinity within, from the Creator within and all I actually have to do is to ask for help.
And that's not a case of like, you know, how can I do this? How can I help but it's it is a case of passing it back to the Source. Passing it back to the divinity, to the Christ within, to the divinity within, to the Divinity without, to the divinity in all of creation that knows far more infinitely what to do than you do and has far bigger ideas and abilities to ever figure this stuff out than you will ever have.
And this is within you, this knowledge this knowing is internal and within you when you get out of the way and allow it to move through you.
And so one of the things I do is pass it back to God. And this looks like for instance, so when it came to doing this podcast, I'd been having the idea for over a year, I was studying full time, things were very difficult. I was really struggling to hold down doing my studies and also creating this podcast.
And it became very clear that I would have my summer free I would finish my studies at the end of April and then it wouldn't be till September that I would be back into study full time again. And it became very clear that I had to do this podcast that it was a soul calling that if I didn't bring it forth, I would be literally cutting off a part of myself. I would be literally being a less fully expressed version of myself which would feel really poopy. So it became like a true core desire.
I wanted to bring this podcast forth, I wanted to be the voice here and to be able to speak some of the things that many of my friends and people I know have always been telling me, I need to speak out loud, I need to say to other people. And I sat there and I 100% made the commitment within myself energetically and with the Divinity all around me and within me, with God, to be all in on this podcast.
But I had no idea how, I knew exactly how I want this podcast to look, I knew exactly its impact I wanted to make, and how it would basically be an entity of its own. And I had no idea how to do that. And so I just asked for help. And I handed it back to God. I literally imagined saying, Okay, I'm gonna do this podcast, I'm all in. And it's got to fit around my work, it's got to fit around my studies, it's got to fit around all of these things in my life - you sought it.
And every time it's come to needing to record a podcast or not feeling confident, or wondering what I'm going to say, I literally just say to God, I don't know how to do this, figure it out. And let me know, like, just take over control. And what happens is these beautiful synchronicities, and it's really hard to explain, but things just happen and fall into place.
I will be like, I was literally walking to school and back every day, listening to podcasts, and all these ideas would be coming into my mind as to what I could record episodes on. And so I would be jotting them down. And before I knew it, I had like 20 Plus podcast episodes already written down. In terms of recording them, I have found little pockets here and there of time.
And obviously, there was part of me that it's like, you know what, I'm gonna sit there, and I'm gonna batch record for 52 episodes, and that's my whole episodes for the year. And I just don't work like that. It's not how I function. And I have set the intention. And I set the intention to the Divine, to God, that I wanted to be able to pre record as much as possible for when September starts, and I started studying again, because there will be several months when my time and attention will be elsewhere.
And I just set the intention, I just set the commitment to be able to do that. And I didn't worry about the how I just gave it back to the Divine, I just gave it back to God and said figure this out. And what's happened is very beautifully and organically ideas have come to me, I have recorded an episode here a couple of episodes there. And I'm gradually just building it up as I go along. And I'm already further out than I thought I would be. And it's been a really beautiful organic experience.
Not once have I felt taxed, not once have I felt overworked or stressed or worried, because I've made sure that my self care is a commitment.
And I said I will be all in on this. As long as my self care, my health, my well being is first and foremost, the most important thing you know, is up there, because I know what it's like to burn out. I have burned out multiple times in my life, and it's not a pleasant experience. And so the last few months since I've finished studying, it's been this beautiful organic experience of building this podcast, in a really surprising, gentle, easy, ease-full way.
Because I handed over the control of it. I mean, sometimes things are just too big to even control or so. And that's what I felt with this. It was like too big for me to conceive how I could do it myself. And so it's been a really easy process for me to hand things over.
However, it hasn't always been like this, and I have built up this muscle.
The first time this was explained to me in a way that I really understood it and got it was reading Tasha Silver's outrageous openness. I highly recommend all of her books, they're beautiful. But she talks about surrendering it back to God handing it back to God. And I remember I started playing with this idea when when I had difficulties in my life, I would just hand things back to God. And it could be something as simple as a desire of wanting a certain thing for dinner, or a desire to go for brunch or not being able to make a decision and I would literally just hand it back to God and I would also hand all my desires to God and I would find that miracles would happen and people would ring me up and invite me to brunch out of the blue or decide like meet me for lunch and we'd go to the exact place that I wanted to go to and it would be not my suggestion it would be theirs. then I would find all these like funny little, random, magical things happening through my day.
And then there was the bigger harder stuff, the stuff that I couldn't let go of. And I find that I hand that back to God over and over and over again. And it can be sometimes multiple times a minute, multiple times a day, multiple times an hour, or whatever it is, or multiple times a lifetime.
Because, you know, there's things that we find hard to let go of, I remember this woman once, who I follow, saying, There's nothing I haven't let go of that hasn't got my claw marks all over it. And how many of us can relate to that, like, you know, there's certain things that I find so hard to let go of. And yeah, my claw marks are all over those things, because I don't want to let them go. And yet, when I do, this beautiful synchronicity happens, a) I feel peaceful, and b) it creates space, for a miracle to occur, it creates space for divinity to get in there for God to get in there and fix the problem.
And I remember one of the times when this worked the most for me, and it was like, I'd been experimenting with the smaller things. And I remember the first time I used it on something big. And I was on a holiday with my son. And at that point in his life, he was having a lot of difficulties. And he was really struggling and not feeling very happy. And we were walking along a beach and he was just being really difficult, really just not cooperating, very angry, very hurting.
And I just felt completely inept, to be able to parent him in that moment. And it just felt bigger than me it felt I couldn't do this. And I didn't know what else to do. And so I handed it to God, and I walked away. And I just, I just gave the kid a little bit of space. I'm on the same beach, I just walked further down and just sat on a rock on my own. And I just handed it to God and just said, You got to help me with this, I can't do this anymore.
And what happened was, in those few minutes, when we were apart, my son was able to sort of reflect, my son was able to spend some time with his own problem on his own. And me letting go of it created space for God to get in and created space for my son to figure things out.
And somehow between the divine, between my son and the space that I had created by letting it go, and by handing it over to someone else, this miracle occurred. And he had this like major breakthrough emotionally. And then he was able to come to me and he was able to say sorry, but he was also able to fully express what was going on inside of him and ask for the help he needed very specifically.
And I remember just being overwhelmed by this experience of, oh my god, this stuff really works. And I've used it over and over again in multiple ways in my life. And since that moment, and even, you know, even to this day, you know, I'll use it with my son when I feel like sometimes the problems that I'm facing with him are bigger than me, are bigger than I'm able to handle. And what happens is that a grace gets in like the grace of God gets in where we're able to sort of let go when we're able to pass the burden back. And I literally imagine like tossing it physically in the air, like back to God and just say Take this.
And my invitation with you is that you can do this too. You may have this dream, this soul calling, this thing that you want to bring forth and it feels too big, it feels too unknown, there's so much that is at stake here. Or there's so much that you need to bring, so many pieces to this puzzle. And you don't need to do it alone. It's not just your burden to carry.
This is a divine inspiration within you and so the Divine is there to help you. And whether you believe it's God whether you believe it's just an intelligent life-force or an energy that runs through everything, it does exist and you can call on it and you can ask for help. And so you can just imagine handing it back, and so the how isn't important anymore. The how is not your problem to solve.
You deciding the limits, you deciding your own limitations you deciding, not limitations, but boundaries you deciding like I want this, this and this in my life. And I'm not willing to give up this or this. And so whatever this thing, this new thing is I'm bringing through has to fit around everything else.
And you get to decide that.
You get to set those parameters for how you bring it forward. And then you pass that back and say, I am willing to do this, I am 100% in, as long as it's like this, as long as I am supported, as long as I am given the help I need and you can, you can do that you have every right to do that. It doesn't have to be an either / or.
And I would argue when people tell you it, it does have to be an either /or. I'm going to argue against that and say no, because that makes things completely inaccessible, that makes things feel dreadful. It's like 'Oh my God, I've got to leap off the cliff'.
You don't have to leap off the cliff without a parachute. And I wish I'd been told this a long, long time ago, because I wasn't, and you're allowed to say, alright God, you want me down there, I'll go down there, I'll go that route. But you got to provide a safe means for me to get that you've got to make it fit around this, I need it to work around what I'm doing right now, it needs to be supportive of that. And I'm going to need resources, I'm going to need help. So I'm going to hand that back to you. You let me know exactly how and when and what to do.
And you will know, you will get divine inspiration, you will just get divine inspiration. And you'll know when to act. And you know, there's a lot out there saying you must be consistent, you must do do do do do. And it's a very patriarchal way of viewing the world. And it's this very sort of industrial way of being that we were trained to be so that we would all be good workers, we would all be good, like workforce, worker ants working for the profits of other people. And it doesn't serve us in any way. And it can often deplete us.
So when we want to take action, I never take action until I get divine inspiration. I also make sure I create time and space for that. So I will say, Okay, tomorrow, I've got this time and space, I'm going to go and record as many episodes as I can. Sometimes that's one. Sometimes that's just two, I'm, you know, yeah, I would love to record 10 episodes or whatever in a day.
But you know, it might not happen. And it's always enough what I do, but the divine inspiration will come when I give it the space and when I ask for it. And when I hand it over to God for the how that's when the magic happens.
So my invitation for you is to start practicing with, this start playing with it. You know, where can you hand things back to God? Where you can you just say, oh my god, I'm confused what to have for dinner tonight, You know, I'm handing that back to God, I haven't got the decision power left in me to decide this. And just watch the little miracles happen. Watch the little interventions happen as your child will come in and go, Mommy, Mommy, can we have this for dinner? And you'll be like, Well, yeah, that's great. That means I don't have to think about it and and then you just start building on this, you start building on the confidence of this when you see it and you can start bringing it more into your life and, and asking for those bigger things.
And it's not always easy to let go. It's absolutely fine to have your claw marks all over anything that you want to let go of because no one really wants to let go.
So give yourself compassion and love with that. Hand it back to God, and you may need to hand it back multiple, multiple times. There's no shame in that. That's just life, like we like to cling on for dear life to shit. And it's okay. And you can let it go.
So, have a beautiful day. Thank you so much for listening. I love you lots. Bye.
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