Other people are always the problem right? Its them, not you... If only you could get them to change then you'd feel ok, right? Actually wrong my dear. It's definitely easier to blame others and we all do it, but it's really not their fault you feel crummy and in this episode we go deep into other people, why they trigger us and how we can take back our power and vibrational alignment.
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Hi, and welcome to today's episode of the Radiant Soul podcast. Haven't quite worked out where to look on Zoom yet, or on the recordings with the YouTube channel. So, excuse me, where I put my eyes, for those listening on a podcast, this is irrelevant to you, but you can come and watch a video on my website or on YouTube as well.
In today's episode, I want to talk about other people, . Oh yeah. Because when we go about as lives, other people can get in the way. And cause all kinds of turbulence and triggers and stuff that we might not really want in our vibrational frequency, like to occur, right? Because we live in this world where we have this beautiful co-creation with other people and that we cannot really function in the world without other people.
And so what I wanna talk about Why other people, how they can get to us, what we can do about it, little caveat we can't but we can and, and how we can sort of be around other people and use that as a way of fine tuning our own vibrational frequency. So basically everything in life is like a mirror of what's going on inside.
And, it's a beautiful mirror. It's like an illusionary mirror. To show you all the places where your soul wants to grow, where your soul wants to evolve and become more of itself. And its true self. And that true self is pure love, presence, awareness. And so one of the best ways to do that, and one of the best ways to have immediate feedback is with other people.
So if you're the sort of person that's decided you don't want any relationships in life, or you know you're gonna be single for the rest of your life, actually what you've done is you've really closed off your heart, but you've also closed off your evolutionary experience to understanding more about yourself, understanding more about how you function, what triggers you, how to bring more of yourself, how to open your heart more, how to be more vulnerable, how to be more loving, how to be more compassionate, not just to yourself, but to others too. And not just to others, but to yourself too. the other side, Whichever side of the line you sit on with that.
And so other people, and especially like those newest and dearest to us, Can cause us the biggest triggers. It can cause us the biggest heartache, to speak. And often in a romantic relationship, we will be triggered and instead of going within and seeing like, oh, they're actually just mirroring to me where I'm not being my true self, where I'm not being more of myself or where I'm being mean to myself, or holding beliefs or stories that aren't supporting me, instead of really going inwards and figuring that out and, and bringing that relationship into yourself. Like, where is this, Where is this showing up in my life? Where am I believing these things? What often happens is we kind of get caught on the trigger. We get caught on the pain of the sting because these things can be really painful.
Like the truth hurts, right? And so, you know, for instance, if you're doing something and someone that you love or a troll or even on the internet or whatever comes and says something that hits all of your triggers, it's not necessarily that they're really vindictively doing it. It's just like they were puppet in your world, right?
They were like literally producing the mirror for you to see, oh my God, this is where I am believing that, you know, is it a comment on fatness, for instance, You know, like, where am I judging myself and thinking I'm fat and ugly? Like, where am I not being kind on myself there? Where do I feel like, oh yeah, this is, I'm not able to be myself because I put on a few pounds, or I can't be happy because I, you know, these things will come as triggers and you know, There were times when I'll argue with my boyfriend and I'll be like, I hate you.
And then I'm like, I don't actually hate you. I, I hate how I feel in this situation. And it's because the trigger, the pain is really a difficult one for me. And it's my resistance to it and my inability to, to really embrace it as a lesson can be really painful and it can be. And that's why we can get really stuck on other people.
And we can also, like villainize other people. We can believe that our partner is evil, our partner's bad, and, and maybe they are, maybe they're incredibly abusive. But then you have to kind of go within and say, Well, what, where am I being abusive to myself? Like how am I being this awful to myself and very often without even knowing, there will be a script running, continuously telling, you know, that, Oh, you're useless. You're nothing, you're worthless. You're, oh, you're so fat and ugly. You're so pathetic. You haven't got, you know, and it will be this constant script that we don't even acknowledge, Oh, look at you, you lazy cow, Get up off the sofa. Do something. You're so lazy because you, you didn't do something today.
This is a constant dialogue in our heads at times and our own self beration, right? Our own berating. Our berating ourselves. Self beration. I don't know if that's a real word. I like making up words. , you probably noticed. So the other person isn't necessarily like the cause, they are the reflection of. And that's not saying everyone who's in an abusive relationship is at fault or is to blame, but there is a responsibility to oneself, first and foremost, to be loving to oneself.
And if one was loving to oneself, one would not stay in that situation. But where also are you not being loving to yourself? Where are you being abusive to yourself? And it can be subtle, right? It can be just as that feeling of like when you put your jeans on, then they don't do up cuz you put on a little extra pounds or you were a bit bloated.
And you're disappointed in yourself or whatever. So other people act as these mirrors around us and it's not necessarily that they're evil or they're out to get you or that they're out to hurt you in any way. It's that they're there to mirror and to trigger so that we, we can become more of, And actually, you know, some of.
I've had abusive relationships and when I have left those relationships and done the healing, I have become more loving, more compassionate, more open, been able to see them in the truth as who they are, which is love and light and God like we are all one and we are all connected. And also another thing I wanna talk about is that, Other people carry their own shit around too, right?
They have their own triggers, they have their own insecurities, they have their own fears and beliefs and stories, and they will live out. And so without knowing you may trigger them, you may trigger an aspect in them that they don't like. And when we come across someone that we don't like, when we come across someone that's sort of you know, really irritates us. It's like, well, what is going on inside?
Is there a place where I am not meeting myself? Is there a place where that behavior, you know, is something that I am shunning for myself? I am judging, I am hiding, I am unwilling to accept is part of myself. And as we are all whole and one and everything, we are just as capable of beauty and love and purity as we are with horrific violence and anger and hatred and all of those things. We are all able and like cohesively to be all of that because we are all of that. We are all of everything and we are one. And so where can we bring the compassion within? Where can we find that place within where we can meet those places, we can meet those, those dark thoughts? We can meet those dark experiences and, and feelings with love, with compassion, with tenderness and patience for the human experience that we are? Because, and I'll say this over again, while we are spiritual beings having a human experience, The Human experience ,is how as spiritual beings, we, become more of, we grow, we evolve, we enlighten, we gain consciousness.
Consciousness isn't about happily ever after sitting in a cave. Nobody bothers me and I'm perfect. Consciousness is about bringing consciousness, awareness to everything -where we can be compassionate, where we can be loving, where we can be opening to more of, because that is what wants to emerge from you
to live a radiant soul life isn't about just grabbing desires and you know, grabbing all the material things or you know, it's about how your soul can expand, how you can be more love, how you can be more present, how you can be more compassion. And that starts with you. And so you may think other people are the problem, but other people are the mirror for what is within, that's the beauty.
And there will be those people that come into your life that don't necessarily have a good soul contract with you, in the sense that in your human experience, it can be incredibly painful. Every interaction with them can be incredibly painful. But if you can gain the outer perspective and come at this with the eyes of God, you know what I've, I honestly believe that some of those people, When we meet their souls, when we depart this world and pass on into the spirit being, again, we'll understand that there was a really beautiful amount of love in that contract between their two Souls coming together because they took on a really dark role in our lives in order so that we could be more of, in order that we could have this experience, understand more of ourselves and grow.
And that's not justifying evil in the world in any way. And some things are just evil. And, and, and we will never understand. And maybe we will when we pass over, maybe we can't tell. But there are these soul contracts that come in and they light up the, you know, the more darkness that is brought forwards, the, the more light we get to shine on it.
And that's really powerful, really god self state to be in. When you can take ownership of that and you can be with other people and allow that, that trigger that pain, to be something that you use for your own relationship with yourself, and then you will find that these people no longer, in your energy field, they're no longer in in your life, they'll drop away.
And there may be pain still, like unresolved feelings, you know, no one's perfect at this. I still have a lot of issues and pains caused by things in relationships, it's completely normal. So it's not another thing to berate yourself on, but it is another thing to be aware of. And so, I found myself in my family the other day and I just felt like I was being a bit of a punch bag for other people's stuff, right? It was like there was this taking things out on myself. And actually when I went within, and it took a couple of weeks to figure this out and a lot of tears and a bit of pain, like, there was an understanding of where I was taking on blame. I was feeling at fault and feeling like it was my fault that all of these other things had happened and it wasn't, and it isn't.
There was, we all played parts in it and, and it's like, once I started doing that, you know, then those people came to me and said, I'm sorry, this isn't, this isn't actually you, this is me. This is me feeling bad about something else and I'm taking it out on you. And those things resolved, but like other people aren't the problem.
How you are seeing yourself, how you are living with yourself, how you are cutting yourself off, berating yourself, hiding yourself, not even in agreement with yourself, how you are judging yourself, how you are disgusted with yourself. These are harsh words, but many of us really don't have a good relationship with ourself and so other people aren't the problem.
And when you can realize that and realize that the pain they're causing isn't an intentional pain, it isn't something that they're doing to get at you. A, they're dealing with their stuff that's got nothing on you. You know, when I was being the punch bag for my son, it was nothing to do with me.
It was everything to do with stuff that was going on with his father at that time. But, Knowing that, but then also like, well, where am I also playing a part in that? Where am I judging myself? Where am I blaming myself? Where am, where am I turning myself into the punch bag? And when you can do that, when you can be so honest with yourself, and it is not easy, it is painful.
It can be really painful. There can be grief. You know, there was a lot of sadness. There was a lot of grief and heartache as I was uncovering this, like these deep beliefs of blame and sadness, and there was a lot of pain in that process. Doesn't make it a bad thing, it makes it. Just, it's just part of life, right?
Life is everything. And I've said it's bitter and sweet. It's, it's all of it. And if you're not willing to feel the sadness, if you're not willing to feel the pain, if you're not willing to go into the darkness, then there is no joy. There is no light, there is no love, There is no expansion. It's, it's, you can't have one without the other.
If it's just nothing but light, you'll be blinded and isn't. You only have to look at a sunset to realize like shadows, lights, shades, everything is beautiful. And that's the tapestry of life and that's the tapestry that other people bring to us. And that can change. You know, you can then see someone years down the line and that person has a completely different effect on you because it's not them.
It's because your relationship with yourself has changed fundamentally, if you are willing to do the work, if you are not though and you keep leaving or departing and not solving this, every relationship will be the same.
You will literally repeat patterns throughout your life, until you get it. And it's no bad thing. It's not a thing to judge. It's not a thing to, you know, berate yourself on. It's a thing to bring compassion and love too, and just awareness and understanding. So love the other people. Be grateful, Appreciate the other people.
You don't necessarily have to condone anything, but you can forgive them. And be grateful for what they've shown you for. Be grateful for the mirror that they've given you. So I hope that makes sense. I think there might be more about other people somewhere, but it's not coming right now. So I should leave that maybe for another episode.
I love you. I thank you for listening. And I can't wait to be with you next week. And if you wanna see me live as well, I'm on Insight Timer every Wednesday at 11:11. Um, come join me. There's a link in the show notes, um, and I'll be doing a sort of another Soul Shots!. Like soul shots episodes, but they'll be a little bit more extended.
Cause I think I get up to like 15 minutes. Um, I can have as long as I want, but I don't wanna . We are all our ownselves and we bring forth what we want to bring forth. So come join me live on Insight timer and there's also beautiful meditations on there, and it's just a really peaceful place to be. It's an app on your phone.
It's all about consciousness, mindfulness. Yoga, meditation, anything like that. It's not like social media, so it's much calmer, much more peaceful. And yeah, come join me. I love you. Thank you for listening. Have a great week. Bye.
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And if you love this podcast, please hit subscribe and leave a review. And if you take a screenshot of your view of view, an email it to Soul Art by shirley gmail.com. I'll send you a Radiant Soul Hypnosis as a thank you gift. Thank you for listen. I love you. Bye.